Three Crossdressing Men Rob Jewelry Store In Harrowing Fashion

Who says you can’t smash the patriarchy and live a life of crime at the same time? Police have released nonsensical surveillance footage that shows three crossdressing men enter a jewelry store in Florida (where else?) and rob the place blind.

The incident took place in Port St. Lucie, where a trio of male bandits wearing wigs, heavy makeup, and women’s clothing barged into an unsuspecting shop and quickly sprang into action.

One of the robbers jumps over the counter and accosts a female employee while his accomplice grabs another worker by the back of her neck and forces her away. The burglars can then be seen emptying the contents of the safe and any jewelry they can grab into a duffel bag before sprinting out the back door.

Witnesses claim that the culprits were all black males standing around 6 feet tall, and that they made their escape in a getaway vehicle driven by a man wearing what appeared to be an orange jumpsuit.

One of the robbers – 29-year-old Jerome Simmons – was arrested the following day when police found him crawling in some bushes near an emergency hospital. His two accomplices remain at large.