Salma Hayek

Just when you thought all Hollywood Starlets were shallow and superficial, they’re banding together against Botox!! Starts like Julia Roberts, Meryl Streep, Drew Barrymore, and Salma Hayek have all voiced their opinions-wait, hold on a second, Salma Hayek speaking out against plastic surgery? She with those glorious 2 Franken-boobs that have landed more roles for her than the ability to speak with a clear diction? Don’t believe me? Try to sit through “Fools Rush In” and see if you understand anything that she says. Look, I’m not saying that Salma Hayek absolutely had a boob job, but if she’s all natural, then I’m only dating half-mexican half-lebanese chicks from here on out!! Look Salma, this is Hollywood, getting a boob job is no big deal. It’s just as common as having a false sense of how attractive we are. How ya doin’ ladies?? I’m Jonny Loquasto & you’ve been fed.