I’m Jonny Loquasto with NewsFeed. In, “Wow, do people really take the time to care about this crap? Yeah unfortunately” news, over 3 months after her sister Kate married Prince William, reports on the internet are rampant that Pippa Middleton may have used a butt lift to give her derrearee the perfect round shape that had even black men watching the Royal Wedding. According to beauty experts, Middleton may have used special underwear or padding that would really disappoint the Pippa Middleton Appreciation Society Facebook group. Yup, that’s a group that actually exists and it has over 200,000 members, probably mostly dudes who look like this. Now, some people are saying, “Well why doesn’t she do what Kim Kardashian did and take an X-Ray of her butt to prove it’s real?”. Oh, I don’t know, maybe because Pippa has better things to do than to take diagnostic imaging pictures of her ass! Let’s compare here: Royal Family — Kardashians. Ya know what, I’ll take a scone & Pippa’s saggy keester any day. I’m Jonny Loquasto and you’ve been fed.