Osama Bin Laden Is Dead

This is a transcript of Osama Bin Laden Is Dead on Newsfeed…Sunday May 1st, President Barack Obama, announced that Osama Bin Laden, the Al Qaeda terrorist leader who took responsibility for the attacks on 9-11, was killed by US forces in Pakistan. Word on the street is that the special ops team that made the hit was led by Chuck Norris and Steven Segal. Ok, that is just the word on my street, and by that I mean I really want that to be true. Obama interrupted an episode of celebrity apprentice to make the announcement, angering Donald Trump and causing him to shift millions of dollars into making sure Obama presents the long form death certificate to the American people because Donald Trump… is a party pooper.