Ocean Levels on Newsfeed -Scientists are freaking out about the ocean again!? Not this old dog and pony show. Listen if it hasn’t affected the price I pay for a spicy tuna roll I don’t give a crap. It’s not like anything’s going to happen anytime soon. Oh, this just into Newfeed: I am 100% wrong. Apparently Dead Zones, which are areas in the ocean where the oxygen levels fall to zero thus eliminating all possibility for healthy marine life like fish and stuff, are becoming more and more prevalent. What happens is these dead zones just become a giant green slime pool full of bacterial algae. I don’t want a spicy slime roll?! Okay Now I’m freaking out. Basically European scientists, whose names I can’t pronounce, are saying if we don’t make drastic changes in population control and sustainability we’re totally… well you know. In other words that Octomom is a real irresponsible tramp.