I’m Josh Macuga with newsfeed.
The NFL season is fast approaching, which means the conjecturing on who will win the Super Bowl this year and how many losses the Detroit Lions will have are at an all time high. I’m from Pittsburgh so all I want is the Steelers to win every game and then the super bowl and hopefully watch the Dallas Cowboys fail miserably. But as is such I’m supposed to be a non-biased host of a show where I inform people and not make fun of them… I’m kidding I can do whatever I want so here are some snarky, totally false odds from the illegal Sports Book I’m running out of my apartment. I’ve got 3 to 1 that Aaron Rodgers has had sex with every attractive girl in Green Bay, there’s only two and they’re probably sisters, but that’s why it’s 3 to 1. 5-2 that Peyton Manning’s neck will heal, but that weird red bump on his forehead will never go away. The over under on athletes saying stupid stuff on Twitter that could lead to a suspension is currently at 6 players and we’ve got 4 to 1 odds that a Raiders fan will murder someone in a parking lot. As for the Super Bowl winner, if the Steelers don’t win I could care less and if Tom Brady sells his hair on ebay I’ll probably make a bid. Oh and Roger Goodell is a real douche.
I’m Josh Macuga and you’ve been fed