Net Witness Acquired

In very exciting news today, tech company EMC acquired network security software company NetWitness. 99% of men polled about this story responded with “Wait, I can still watch porn right?” I personally am not a fan of these softwares because they block you from amazing business opportunities like when a rich billionaire uncle dies in Nigeria. When we emailed NetWitness for a comment they responded by saying “Have you seen this boy?”