In important news today, Sports Illustrated's highly anticipated swimsuit issue featuring a naked Kate Upton has leaked. [Looks at cover.] This cover is telling us that Sports Illustrated readers have nothing to do for the next 3 months but sit in their filthy man caves and masturbate. And compliments to Sports Illustrated for getting as close to actual pornography as they could without having to sell the issue in a brown paper bag. This issue is going to be the most looked at magazine in the country, right up until all its pages are stuck together. This is Kevin Christy and you've been fed.