Miss Universe

I’m Josh Macuga with newsfeed. Let’s just say in about 6 years I’m the most famous guy in the world -- totally hypothetical-- and I’m looking to date someone. Then I’d have a chance to be naked with Miss Universe. Until then I’ll just be another creepy guy on a couch watching the most boring television possible to witness the most beautiful women in the world walk around trying not to fall all the while saying in their head, “Look at me I’m pretty and my Mom is crazy. All I want is some pizza damnit!” I mean didn’t we learn anything from Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality and then again in Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous!? What the F is a pageant anyhow? Pretty girls competing to see who’s the prettiest? You’re all hot… we get it. Now go sell stuff at conventions in Las Vegas! I’m Josh Macuga and you’ve been fed