Labor Day

I’m Josh Macuga with newsfeed. The Brass here at Newsfeed headquarters said they wanted me to talk about Labor Day but didn’t give me any direction and said I could literally talk about anything having to do with Labor Day. Haha… WELP… here we go. Labor Day is the most depressing holiday of the year. It signifies the end of summer, the end of pool side debauchery, beaching, bodysurfing, and the last day you’re officially allowed to wear white. That may not sound like a big deal, but think about it… That means women put away their white pants and we have to wait until next summer to get a sneak peak at their thong through that thin layer or cotton or whatever they make pants out of these days. On Labor Day take notice of the number of white pant clad women and heed the sexual desire in their eyes. It’s that desperation as their final cry for sex while wearing those white pants. They’ve worked all summer but it’s time to put them away. It’s a sad day for sexually charged men and women. Because as we all know, white pants means… wanna f**k. I’m Josh Macuga and you’ve been fed.