Jack The Ripper Identified

Hi, I’m Shannon Hatch and you’re watching Newsfeed! According to a new Scooby Doo special, Jack The Ripper may have finally been identified. Sorry, did I say Scooby Doo? I meant National Geographic. About 120 years ago Jack The Ripper killed five prostitutes in London. Wait – it’s illegal to kill prostitutes? Good to know. Authorities now believe a man named Carl Feigenbaum, who we sentenced to death in 1896 for several murders in the U.S., was Jack The Ripper. I, for one, am glad we put all that effort and money into finding out who murdered those prostitutes in 1896, just in case he was living it up in Mexico today celebrating his 150th birthday! You better watch your back Black Dalia, because National Geographic is on the case! Hopefully we can focus on the murders that are taking place, I don’t know, now. I’m Shannon Hatch, and you’ve been fed.