How to Get Tickets to Lollapalooza

Lollapalooza sold out in under an hour, so how do I get tickets to Lollapalooza? 1. Use your brain: Say you work for a music blog cause anyone can do that, forge a press pass and flash it around like you know what you’re doing. Hint: hipster clothing is a must. 2. Use your brawn: join a fancy gym where the rockstars go and befriend that rockstar… then rent a hummer and smash it through the gates of Lollapalooza and meet up with that rockstar you’re friendly with and enjoy the show. 3. Sucker punch a scalper and steal his tickets, cause he deserves it, and look free tickets!