Hillary Duff Is Pregnant

I’m Jonny Loquasto with NewsFeed. 1st off, yes it’s a slow news day. Secondly, Hilary Duff is pregnant. Now if you’re young, you know Hilary Duff as a singer and the star of the Disney show Lizzie Maguire but if you’re my age, you know her as the sister of the chick from Napolean Dynamite. It’s going to be a confusing pregnancy for Duff, because every time she thinks the baby is kicking, it’s actually trying to cross check her stomach, because she continued the disturbing trend of hot blonde chicks who decided to marry Hockey players. Yeah, I’m looking at you Carrie Underwood & Elisha Cuthbert. If its so great to marry a guy who is guaranteed to give you a baby with a mullet and a strange accent, then why is this guy still single? God bless America!! I’m Jonny Loquasto & you’ve been fed.