Hi I’m Jonathan London and you’re watching Newsfeed.
Gas prices are up 13 cents over the last month, hitting a national average of $3.51. What? Who? How? I'm gonna have to take the bus to the comic store - like the other loser nerds. No, for real America. What should we do!?! We have a serious choice to make: We can invest our few remaining dollars in Banana peel technology (Back to the Future) or gimp masks (Mad Max). We gotta start thinking economically, America! “Be still my dogs of war.”
I’m Jonathan London, and you’ve been fed!