Ecoli Food Poisoning

Ecoli Food Poisoning on Newsfeed -Europeans everywhere are freaking out over 1 little E. Coli outbreak?! So what… it’s not like anyone is dying, it’s just E. Coli… huh? People are dying? That is totally my bad. Now I feel awful… okay so I guess I should just tell you how to avoid E. Coli. First wash your vegetables thoroughly or if you’re like me don’t eat vegetables. Also under cooked meat is a red flag so forget that rare T-bone at Sizzler. Also if you just happen to go cow tipping late night or go on a romantic vegetable picking weekend with your girlfriend make sure to bring the hand sanitizer and if you didn’t bring the Purell I’m told peeing on your hands works as well… seriously pee on your hands. It’s funny.