Drunk Doofus Destroys Jesus Statue While Trying To Kiss It

A drunken escapade unexpectedly led to vandalism when a New York City man who was joking around with a statue of Jesus accidentally broke it. Now, the NYPD is looking for the yet-unidentified sinner who was caught in the act by security cameras near the scene of the crime.

The above footage was filmed around 4:38 am on September 11 outside the Saints Peter and Paul’s Rectory in Williamsburg, CBS2 reported.  Two men and a woman can be seen making their way down South 3rd Street, seemingly intoxicated, when one of the men spots the Jesus statue. 

According to the bizarre police report, the man high-fived the statue before hoisting himself onto a fence. He then “damaged the statue of Jesus by attempting to kiss it,” trying to pull it toward himself for the oh-so-hilarious prank. The statue snaps off its base, and the unholy trio darts away, giggling all the while.

Church secretary Waleska Soto felt “upset because even the high-five was unnecessary. You want to stop by and admire it, give a prayer, contemplate it, it’s no reason for you to go beyond the fence and touch it.”

The statue is one of several that have been placed outside the church following a spree of criminal activity surrounding it. 

“The first time, it got stolen, we never retrieved it, a new one was donated by a family from New Jersey,” Soto claims. That 100-year-old statue was, in turn, stolen in May; it was eventually returned, but with some damage.

The latest incident has prompted the church to consider encasing the statue in a protective box to ensure that it can only be viewed from afar.