5 Reasons Why Amazon Prime Air Will Never Work

Minutes ago, Amazon released details about a futuristic Prime Air option that will deliver items you purchase on their website straight to your door within 30 minutes. Although Amazon says this option won’t be available for a “number of years,” we’re here to tell you it will never happen.

Here are 5 reasons why Amazon Prime Air is a fantasy that will never become reality:

1. Hunters, or anyone else with access to a gun, will use those things as target practice. I must admit that having an Amazon unmanned drone on my mantle would be pretty darn cool.

2. No lawyer would greenlight this idea. Imagine those blades tangling with a small child on their front lawn. Yeah, no.

3. Why would Amazon put all that effort into a delivery system that could only ship the smallest of items? Rarely does anything I order fit in a tub for baby wipes.

4. Speaking of those baby wipes tubs, where do they go after delivery? Does the drone come back to pick it up? Do you mail the tub back? Do you get to keep it?

5. If a rival delivery service got upset about lost business, what would stop those companies from creating a fleet of attack drones that would fly around and battle Amazon drones with lasers? Wait, that sounds awesome. I’d get baby wipes delivered to my house daily just to see the ensuing battle.