School fights can be limited to just a few participants or they can become as large as small scale riots. They usually don’t last as long as the skirmishes of their grown-up counterparts, though, due to the constant presence of school administrators. In many ways, they function as an essential part of growing up in nearly every culture. It’s important to note, however, that school cat fights are hot and should happen more often, just like the “Brutal Cat Fight After School” video below.

1. In a pinch, a text book works as a great club. Ex:The Bourne Identity.
2. Be aware of your surroundings. Ex: The Bourne Ultimatum.
3. Basically do anything that Jason Bourne would do.
4. A lunch tray can make an effective shield.
5. Using the lunch tray shield, recite William Wallace’s speech from Braveheart to rally your troops.
6. This sign of obvious insanity will scare your opponents away, making you the victor.
7. In a cat fight, removal of blouses or tops by force is highly encouraged. If a water bottle is within reach, it should be grabbed, opened, and sprayed on the participants to, uh, reduce fighting friction. Yeah, that's it.