I'm Jonny Loquasto with NewsFeed. In, "Wow, do people really take the time to care about this crap? Yeah unfortunately" news, over 3 months after her sister Kate married Prince William, reports on the internet are rampant that Pippa Middleton may have used a butt lift to give her derrearee the perfect round shape that had even black men watching the Royal Wedding. According to beauty experts, Middleton may have used special underwear or padding that would really disappoint the Pippa Middleton Appreciation Society Facebook group. Yup, that's a group that actually exists and it has over 200,000 members, probably mostly dudes who look like this. Now, some people are saying, "Well why doesn't she do what Kim Kardashian did and take an X-Ray of her butt to prove it's real?". Oh, I don't know, maybe because Pippa has better things to do than to take diagnostic imaging pictures of her ass! Let's compare here: Royal Family -- Kardashians. Ya know what, I'll take a scone & Pippa's saggy keester any day. I'm Jonny Loquasto and you've been fed.
Pippa Middleton Topless on Newsfeed - The Royal wedding is over, but the scandals are just getting started. That’s right - pictures of my future wife, Pippa Middleton, topless off the coast of Ibiza in 2006 have surfaced and the Royal Family is pissed! Well, I can’t really tell because I think they’re robots. I mean, did you see the royal kiss? If I married Kate Middleton, I’d be mouth-kissing that girl for ten minutes! But, back to the hotty Pippa. When I was trying to find pictures of her topless, my computer got a virus and all I really saw was some sideboob. Listen, if I was looking for side boob, I’d watch old reruns of NYPD Blue. Just sayin’.