This is a transcript of Elisha Cuthbert Happy Endings on Newsfeed...Sexy nerd favorite Elisha Cuthbert stars in a new ABC sitcom “Happy Endings” giving douchebags around the world an opportunity to make crappy jokes. It follows Cuthbert’s journey as a young Asian woman in the competitive world of massage therapy. Threatened and scared, she resorts to – oh what’s that? Oh, it’s not that? It’s basically Friends? Nevermind, it’s basically Friends. But I am excited for their other new show, Master Baiters. Wait, it’s about fishing? Really? That’s it? Nevermind.