In sad news today, Elizabeth Taylor has died. Her funeral procession will go through Hollywood and then make a stop at the local Sears perfume aisle where Grandmas everywhere will pour out a little White Diamonds for their homie. She died of congestive heart failure which is shocking because she was divorced 8 times and suffered from Tin Man disease. No heart…yknow, from Wizard of Oz. You saw it. Shut up.
Evan Rachel Wood stepped out last night at the premiere of the HBO miniseries Mildred Pierce with newly blonde hair. Wood, who had dated Marilyn Manson and mouth kissed Mickey Rourke said the new hair makes her more enticing to old hideous-faced entertainers. Apparently, she also wore a merkin in the miniseries, also known as a pubic wig. Which is a great way for HBO to get a guy like me to watch a five-part period piece about a woman named Mildred.