Microphone tongs may sound fun in theory, but in practice the only reason to use them is if you like looking like a moron.
Flesh-toned printed tights make you look like you have leprosy, not style.
Yes, that man got his boner stuck in the subway doors right after this photo was taken. Yes, there is footage if you look for it.
This is what it looks like when you stick your head in a fish tank and spit out milk.
As you can see, Sophie shows what her body looks like with and without posing.
...but she's truly aged like a fine wine. Can you argue differently after looking at these pictures?
Amanda Corey was arrested for domestic assault in 2013. She's got that librarian look that makes you wanna stick your dick in a book and slam it shut (YEAH, YOU READ THAT RIGHT FIGHT ME ABOUT IT).
The 'brief safe' is a disguised safe that no one would ever touch because they look like poop-stained underwear. Or, you could just put your money in the bank, but that's such a silly idea no one would ever do that.