This Jason could probably take your head off with one punch, but all you gotta do is run and you’re good.
When you realize your Women's Studies degree won't get you anywhere so embrace the wiener.
No one gets laid off Facebook, so quit with the fake dick and stop trying.
Getting your face plastered onto a one piece is both flattering and not creepy at all!
If you could get one Stephen King story carved in your head, what would it be?
“Your sister wants a pony for her birthday so we’re going to get her one.”
When you park in the one spot with a puddle and don’t want to get your shoes dirty.
MRE's: Military grade pouches of food that will get you through. Make sure to pick up the ones that do not freeze. They taste like ass, but you won't die of starvation.
Water Purifier: Since all your neighbors' stank will be floating in the water, you'll want to use a purification system before you take a swig. Get a small and compact one, as well as some empty jugs to put the water in.