If you are old enough to be in the kid's section at the library, you should not be watching porn.
I'm sure your kid's exact words were 'Make me something retarded for Halloween,' riiight.
And your parents want a kid who didn't eat paste all K-12, what's your point?
When you ask for extra mayo and the kid making your sandwich busts a nut instead.
…banded abductions and lateral band walks into your workout routine and watch that peach grow!'
Rude dog? Hey lady we don’t walk into your bathroom and watch you pee. Do we?
Just kidding - bikinis weren't made in 1776. But that would be a nice fact if they were.
Tip - don't let your kids play with a water hose during a coast guard demonstration.
Thousands of years of intelligent mate selection led you to...make a really shitty MS Paint meme.
Because introducing your kids to politics at an early age always goes well.