'This is me dressed in blackface for Halloween. I went as Blade. Thanks parents.'
'In 1994, I told my dad I wanted to be an ear for Halloween. He really came through.'
‘Whenever I went shopping and told people my real age, I often got mobbed by strangers who wanted to find out my secrets.’
This took an hour to clean up. I was allowed to keep the tinfoil afterwards, which was like a Christmas bonus for me. It was the best day of my life.
'I was so embarrassed with myself about how sweaty I had gotten just walking to class and after that day, I told myself it was time to take control of my life and get my health right.'
‘But in all seriousness, I couldn't remember my middle name and when they told me it was Chelsea I remember thinking, 'What -- Mum would never let dad do that.’
I just can't trust Vodka after it told me that marrying my wife was a good idea. Right everybody? Remember when I badmouthed wives? That was fun.
This only took an hour or two to clean, but I spent days bending these chair legs back into shape. My life is hard.