When being motivated to drink for the sake of drinking is too much trouble.
Those trash bags look too clean. They should be covered in trash juice. Fail.
Yeah, I usually don't have a free hand (since I'm already drinking two beers)
I too leave half-full bottles of water around my house. Dildos? Not so much.
When you go to grandma’s house and she sprays too much Glade in the bathroom.
Last week, when I was at the bar I ate a quarter because some lady said she'd buy me a drink if I did.