So, wait, the sandwich will give me oral sex? Or are you calling the girl 'it'?
My knowledge of what is and isn't a chalk sign is why they hired me at Break
I too leave half-full bottles of water around my house. Dildos? Not so much.
He is looking around the room to see if he can find any of the fucks he doesn’t give.
Hey electric car drivers! Now THIS is “environmentally friendly!” Now give me $100k.
A knife sale for back to school? I should not eat a fail this sweet. It might give me high fail-esterol.
Strange, she keeps calling me too and then my phone dies. I wonder if they're connected?
Also, if you're a doctor, tell me how to get a jagged metal quarter out of my stomach.
I threw up twice because it's so terrifying for me to see my dead friends and family treated this way!