When you regret your tattoo so much you have to grow a shitty beard instead.
When your butt dirty and no matter how much you wipe you can’t get it clean.
If you are too lazy to hold your phone to your ear, you are probably too lazy to go out and buy a cellphone holder for your head.
When you already have an Elektra but could totally use this second one too.
When you vandalize a McDonald's for getting your order wrong and manage to hurt yourself in the process, as well as get arrested.