I think we found where the leak in the oil pipeline came from: silly bear thought it was honey.
Someone somewhere out there thought this was a good marketing idea. It's not.
‘They kept me like that until around the last week of January when they thought it was manageable, then I came round and they reduced the drugs.’
Oh god, I just came out of this bender for a second and for some reason I have eaten my stapler.
‘I had put on some weight and I was out of shape. I was putting an empty bar on my back and thought my legs would collapse. At first, I thought maybe the doctors were right.’
This banner only took a few minutes to take down, but I had to hire a special truck to take it to the dump, which came out of my salary.
Carol thought this was a cool pet until it spread its feathers in her studio apartment.