…I don't ever eat fried food, I only eat white meat and I don't drink alcohol.’
Wouldn’t it be a lot easier to just honk your own horn and drink? #Buzzkill
Yeah, I usually don't have a free hand (since I'm already drinking two beers)
Laugh now, but when the snowmen come for your family you will remember this.
When you post a lingerie selfie of your girlfriend right after she dies and her family gets PISSED.
That face when you accidentally reveal your sex fetish in front of your family.
Wave your hands in the air like you just don’t care. No really, we don’t care.