…I don't ever eat fried food, I only eat white meat and I don't drink alcohol.’
When you post a lingerie selfie of your girlfriend right after she dies and her family gets PISSED.
That face when you accidentally reveal your sex fetish in front of your family.
Wouldn’t it be a lot easier to just honk your own horn and drink? #Buzzkill
Laugh now, but when the snowmen come for your family you will remember this.
Yeah, I usually don't have a free hand (since I'm already drinking two beers)