Tell my wife I love her. Also, I forgot to mention that my wife is Alanis Morissette.
'My wife's turtle, Speedbump, went missing in the yard 20 years ago. My MIL found him this year and broke the news to my wife in a present.'
Tell my wife I died with a smile on my face and this picture of a cat posing like a pin up model in my head.
'And you say you know how to keep dinosaurs from escaping their enclosures and ravaging my park? Great! You're hired. Welcome to Jurassic Park!'