'My friend was drunk and on Xanax when he decided to tattoo a black face Charmander with no experience or artistic ability. '
'Got blackout drunk last night...my girlfriend helped me remember what happened.'
'My roommate got drunk last night and brought home a random little person who he just met, who is now passed out on my couch and snoring like a bear' -- don't know the plan, but it's genius, whatever it is.
All my friends are out drinking egg nog and I'm on my couch watching "Christmas Vacation" for the fifth time this week.
I threw up twice because it's so terrifying for me to see my dead friends and family treated this way!