Launch is my favorite meal of the day. Did I mention I’m an astronaut and that’s what we call lunch?
Tell my wife I love her. Also, I forgot to mention that my wife is Alanis Morissette.
‘I walk my dog in the park for 30 minutes every day. This is one of the best things that I do all day as he loves it and I love it too,’ Carolyn explains.
'I found some tanning foam while I was in the bathroom and put a stripe on my wrist. Liked it so much I did my arms and legs. Nobody was amused but me. I think it lasted a couple months.'
Did I overstep my military might by attempting to take over Sarcasm Kingdom with my Irony Forces? Perhaps.
Tell my wife I died with a smile on my face and this picture of a cat posing like a pin up model in my head.
This dog has the straightest teeth I’ve ever seen. That’s less a comment on this dog and more a comment on my gross friends.