Tell my wife I love her. Also, I forgot to mention that my wife is Alanis Morissette.
'My wife's turtle, Speedbump, went missing in the yard 20 years ago. My MIL found him this year and broke the news to my wife in a present.'
'My buddy turned 21, had the first drink of his life, and my other friend was able to dig him out.'
We found Waldo. What's he doing in my wife's underwear? Waldo! Get out of there!
Tell my wife I died with a smile on my face and this picture of a cat posing like a pin up model in my head.