'My buddy thought he was funny when he told me to use his roommate's bathroom.'
My girlfriend likes me more when I have a beard than when I don't have a beard.
Carl knew he shouldn’t have had those magnets implanted in his hands no matter how cool it seemed.
If cat had stayed on his weight loss goal, he would have fit in this box by now.
Rich kid’s parents said he could have a helicopter, but had to look like THIS.