'Thanks Grandma, now tell me some other lies like that my parents love me and I wasn't adopted.'
I threw up twice because it's so terrifying for me to see my dead friends and family treated this way!
One of my female friends likes the movie Space Jam so much that I just assume all women like it.
'I found some tanning foam while I was in the bathroom and put a stripe on my wrist. Liked it so much I did my arms and legs. Nobody was amused but me. I think it lasted a couple months.'
‘Now some are supporting, some are hating, some are fulfilled with envy, some are asking for help, some want to be my friends now, some are saying goodbye.’
Which is why when I say I love this threat on my life, I really don't like it.
My girlfriend likes me more when I have a beard than when I don't have a beard.