My girlfriend has a lot of pillows! I assume that's accurate of most women!
My girlfriend likes me more when I have a beard than when I don't have a beard.
If my girlfriend proposed to me with a pair of brass knuckles instead of a wedding ring I would say 'sure.'
Is Pinterest still popular? I don't have a Pinterest, but my girlfriend might.
Whenever my girlfriend and I are trying to pick a place to eat, she usually suggest thai food!
'Thanks Grandma, now tell me some other lies like that my parents love me and I wasn't adopted.'
'I recently visited my sister who shared her favorite childhood photo of me - the time I married my giant stuffed Pikachu, Ricky.'
'I found some tanning foam while I was in the bathroom and put a stripe on my wrist. Liked it so much I did my arms and legs. Nobody was amused but me. I think it lasted a couple months.'