I was worried someone was going to steal my delivery truck and this seemed like the best way to keep it safe
‘I was given a sigmoidoscopy, at the Mater hospital, Belfast, where a camera was inserted into my colon, and they saw that I have…
Tell my wife I love her. Also, I forgot to mention that my wife is Alanis Morissette.
‘In my mind, Barbie looked different to who I saw in the mirror, the more surgeries I did the closer I got to my dream and the happier and more content I became with myself.’
I threw up twice because it's so terrifying for me to see my dead friends and family treated this way!
This banner only took a few minutes to take down, but I had to hire a special truck to take it to the dump, which came out of my salary.
Did I overstep my military might by attempting to take over Sarcasm Kingdom with my Irony Forces? Perhaps.
My doctor says if I keep eating fails, he'll have to cut off one of my seven feet.
‘But I hated my small A cup boobs. I didn't like myself or the way I looked. I had an inferiority complex.’
Which is why when I say I love this threat on my life, I really don't like it.