Looks like someone forgot to log out of their corporate account before re-tweeting...
If I looked this much like someone from the Harry Potter universe I’d dress like this every day.
I was unable to remove this car from the flagpole. Much like before, this was my car. Now, I walk everywhere.
Ugh, I feel like I'm being offensive with these. I promise I'm coming from a place of inclusion. Here are pictures of sweets.
'This wasn't for Halloween... I dressed up like this every day after I came home from school and danced to the musical 'Cats' for about a year.'
'I don't ask for much from my employees. Just that they be trees and know where they're supposed to grow. You seem like a smart tree, I think I can trust you.'
'Under education, it says you graduated from Cheeseburger University. That's all the proof I need to know you know what a cheeseburger looks like.'