Guys, my Christmas tree keeps saying it’s going to exterminate me. What should I do?
If my girlfriend proposed to me with a pair of brass knuckles instead of a wedding ring I would say 'sure.'
'Tutorials have also taught me how to wear my costumes and how to pose in them. You learn everything on the internet.'
Tell my wife I died with a smile on my face and this picture of a cat posing like a pin up model in my head.
I use to love mayo, but with this all that it makes me think of is how much I miss my brother.
'My friend gave me this horrible Disney Princess suitcase and Sleeping Beauty nightlight. I turned 24 this year and I’m male and not a fan of pink either. Needless to say, I re-gifted both the day after.'
I know what John Cena looks like and this isn't it. You can't fool me, internet.
One woman received car eyelashes from a friend for Christmas, 'Because I had great eyelashes so he figured my car should too.' No, no it shouldn't. It should never.
‘Melania for me illustrates power and strength; she is our First Lady and I am looking forward to more closely resembling her and…
This took an hour to clean up. I was allowed to keep the tinfoil afterwards, which was like a Christmas bonus for me. It was the best day of my life.