This is what it looks like when you pass out for three hours while drunk-cooking macaroni.
Dude's a genius. He gets to piss off his ex AND get some free porn out of it because she's dumb.
This guy was told his plane had already taken off when he got to the gate.
'My roommate got drunk last night and brought home a random little person who he just met, who is now passed out on my couch and snoring like a bear.'