If you told me this was not actually a giant pigeon, I would not believe you.
‘They kept me like that until around the last week of January when they thought it was manageable, then I came round and they reduced the drugs.’
‘I have vague recollections of doctors and nurses coming in and out to check on me and asking weird things like 'do you know where you are?' and 'what's your name?'
‘But in all seriousness, I couldn't remember my middle name and when they told me it was Chelsea I remember thinking, 'What -- Mum would never let dad do that.’
It seemed quite obvious to me - I was clearly in a hospital and I had a massive folder with 'Francesca Burr' written next to my bed.’
If I was an armadillo, I would want nothing more than to have a human kill me, hollow me out and turn me into a grill.