Pro tip: take a man’s life with a knife so you can feel his last breath on your cheek.
Pee Buddy: Depending on if you want to get frostbite on your junk or not when you whip it out to pee, consider a pee buddy. Yes. A bag that you will pee into and empty later.
If you don't have a television that's 20-feet-tall, give me your man card.
When your lady says it’s time to leave the party but you don’t want to go.
When you park in the one spot with a puddle and don’t want to get your shoes dirty.
Stone Arrowheads: You can pick these up online and with some thread and sticks, make great hunting and defense companions. But a word of caution - be smart about the size of the ones you try and put in your carry-on.
If you want to raise a real man, just let your child watch every episode of JAG. That'll sort him out.
'It says right here on your resume that you know how to spell the word 'stop.' I don't need any further proof to know you're perfect for this job.'
If you don’t want to get fired for your looks, go work at KFC where everyone is ugly, THAT’LL even the playing field for ya.