When you realize your Women's Studies degree won't get you anywhere so embrace the wiener.
When you toot so hard it feels like you’re going to poo a hole through your chest.
Pro Tip: Nobody cares if you own a goldfish though, so use the dog card instead.
Give her your best pickup line! “Would you like to put those birthing hips to use?”
When you don't think you're old enough to change careers but you hand THIS to your kid so they can 'help send my resume using the online.'