I floss with barbed wire because I'm a real man and even though my dentist tells me to stop and that it's ruining my mouth I don't listen.
'It says right here on your resume that you know how to spell the word 'stop.' I don't need any further proof to know you're perfect for this job.'
'We all do it, just don't beat yourself up if you feel like you see all these celluliteless peeps out there.’
When you wake up in the morning on a cold day and don’t want to get out of bed.
‘I don’t really remember but I have little flashbacks of going to the surgery room and then I remember waking up to a really weird dream…
The one true butt. Behold. You have earned it with your bravery, wits, cunning and strength. As you gaze upon the butt, don't forget the pegasus and your other friends that aided your quest. Your quest for the one true butt.