When you realize your Women's Studies degree won't get you anywhere so embrace the wiener.
It’s not that your costume is just a bunch of rags, it’s how you wear those rags that counts.
You know it is laundry day is when your shirt won’t cover your massive boobs.
When your boss asks you to lock the mowers and your only thought is 'That is NOT my job.'
When you get married, next thing ya know a baby will fly right out of your woman.
When your mom won’t buy you Air Jordans because “shoes don’t grow on trees.”
When you want your butt to hurt even more from sitting at the computer all day.
The look Melanie Roach gives you when she finds the empty Funyuns bag under your pillow.
When your coworkers make you wear the 'Box of Shame' for asking a stupid question.