If you ever find this relatable, you'll know for sure your life has gone off the rails.
Water Purifier: Since all your neighbors' stank will be floating in the water, you'll want to use a purification system before you take a swig. Get a small and compact one, as well as some empty jugs to put the water in.
Floating Cooler: You'll need food to survive for up to possibly a week, so pack non-perishables in a floating cooler so your food will stay high and dry.
Waders & Boots: You'll be trekking through water of varying levels, so have some waders and waterproof boots on hand. Waterproof socks are also great items.
When you find out your girlfriend is insane after she introduces you to her parents.