This man is so drunk that he doesn't even know that Tom Hanks is his best friend. Watch out!
I have problems that are so complex, even the most genius programmers would have trouble solving them.
‘Because I can lift so much I'm handy at salvage jobs where we have to move heavy bits of metal debris—like after car accidents,’ Vince said.
The person that owns this sheet is the person that's really having a bad day here. I feel bad for them. Everyone else, not so much.
'I never really put too much thought into my health or my eating habits growing up so food was my go to for any occasion.
'I found some tanning foam while I was in the bathroom and put a stripe on my wrist. Liked it so much I did my arms and legs. Nobody was amused but me. I think it lasted a couple months.'
‘I’m saving more for my own future. So I don’t want to spend money on travel because it’s really expensive.’
‘I met Robbie in my senior year of college when I was working at the front desk. He thought I was cute so he came up to me and we started talking since.’
One woman received car eyelashes from a friend for Christmas, 'Because I had great eyelashes so he figured my car should too.' No, no it shouldn't. It should never.