This guy doesn't need you to make fun of his paint mess. He needs you to help him clean up his paint mess. Sorry, paint man. I have failed you.
‘Apparently I touched his face and said 'I don't know who this is, get him out of here' to my mum.’
When someone slices 'have a great summer' into my many faces, it is the worst torture I can imagine.
I want to tell you that you shouldn’t have that gun so close to your face, but also I’ll just keep my mouth shut because you’re pretty.