'In 1994, I told my dad I wanted to be an ear for Halloween. He really came through.'
This is the face of someone arrested for beating her husband with a golf club after finding him in bed with another woman.
‘I didn't just want to be pretty, I wanted to be gorgeous, stunning, the ultimate - I never wanted to be the girl next door I wanted to be the sexy bitch down the block.’
I simultaneously know this is a strip club and have no idea what this sign says.
…and not a single person on this planet aside from Martina wants to hit them.